Angry About Grammar

Earlier to day, I caught myself writing something along the lines of "I would only do this for you." Upon reflection, I was horrified, and looking up, caught a glimpse of my own shocked stupid horse face in the mirror. The word "only" is commonly accepted to be utterly flexible. We believe that we can place the word anywhere in the sentence and everyone will know exactly what we are talking about. And most often this is true, but we ignore at our peril the aesthetics and rightness of proper placement of the word.

By context, the recipient understood that I would do this thing for no one but her. Yet if its position in the sentence were to be taken strictly, the word "only" would modify the verb "do", not "you". Meaning that I would DO this, but not think this, or accept this, perform any other actions regarding this.

If I had said "I would do only this for you", then I would mean that I would do THIS but would do nothing else, which is still not what I meant.

What I should have said was that "I would do this for you only", which sounds not only precise but pleasantly archaic. How sad that the recipient of my text was presented with barbarous nonsense instead of a tiny loving poem.